


Falter

by FyrMaiden



Series: 2013 Klaine Advent [11]
Category: Glee
Genre: Episode: s04e04 The Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyrMaiden/pseuds/FyrMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Navigating an adult relationship 600 miles apart is hard. Navigating loneliness is harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falter

1\. **the second hand unwinds**

Blaine doesn’t expect the crippling loneliness. There were fifteen years before he met Kurt Hummel, including two of being out. Until recently, he’d never been close with his brother, who had treated their childhood interactions as a competition for parental praise, and he’s based his friendships on striving to be the best he can be. Kurt only asked him to be himself. When Kurt leaves, Blaine feels himself fraying slowly, and then faster and faster and faster… He’d believed the platitudes, trusted in ‘I love you’, but Lima without Kurt is infinitely worse than Lima was when he didn’t exist.

2\. **confusion is nothing new**

Kurt knows three things for certain when he gets to New York. He knows he needs to find Rachel, because one familiar face will be better than none. He knows he’s going to need to get a job, because his Navigator didn’t make him that much money, and won’t pay for lodging for long. And he knows he misses Blaine, which is a burning ache in his chest that he can’t seem to avoid. He feels every single second of small town existence. He tries to make time for everything. For Blaine. Mostly, though, he just tries to stay alive.

3\. **you’re wondering if i’m okay**

Blaine sees it in his face. “You’re exhausted. You should sleep.”

“I don’t get enough time with you,” Kurt says, yawning large enough that his jaw cracks. “You seem sad?”

Blaine nods and feels a tiny part of himself break. He should be honest, admit that he feels left behind, but he doesn’t. “I’m fine. Tell me about Vogue?”

Blaine likes basking in Kurt’s enthusiasm. It’s not perfect, but in a few weeks he’ll be able to touch him.

“I love you,” he says, and Kurt echoes it back, his smile is wide and his eyes clear, and that’s okay.

4\. **the drum beats out of time**

The thing is, New York moves so much faster than Lima did, and the days get away from him so quickly. He doesn’t skip dates deliberately, so much as that by the time he has a spare twenty minutes that he can dedicate solely to Blaine it’s usually past eleven at night, and Blaine has school. The fun text messages he sent the first few days, the pictures he’d tweet directly to Blaine, they stop slowly. New York is fast, and Kurt struggles to keep up with his life. Ohio becomes a different world, a different time. It just… happens.

5\. **i’m walking too far behind**

When he was a junior, and Kurt a senior, they’d meet up every morning. Kurt would slide into his car, or he into the Navigator, and they’d kiss hello, and trade touches and smiles.

Now Kurt has a job, and an apartment, and Blaine – Blaine has student council, and solo dates to the Lima Bean, and homework, and his mom yelling about laundry and food. Kurt’s grown up, and Blaine is still a child. No wonder Kurt’s moving on. He would, if he were saddled with some wide-eyed kid from the Midwest. It’s understandable.

It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

6\. **if you’re lost you can look**

In retrospect, Kurt thinks he should have tried harder.

Then he thinks, he gave Blaine his heart, and Blaine broke it.

(He thinks that’s being overly caustic.)

Then a cute English boy serenades him.

With a song about his ass. Or butts in general. It makes him laugh. Laughing feels good.

He’s not consciously trying to hurt Blaine. That’s over. It’s done. He’s moving on. It’s not even about Blaine, it’s about him and his own autonomy…

But his hands don’t feel right. Neither does his mouth. Kurt’s bruised heart is beating but it’s not there yet.

He tries anyway.

 

**Epilogue**

7\. **if you fall i will catch you**

Blaine’s cute when he’s nervous. His face radiates warmth.

Blaine takes his hand, as he always has. It’s safety and love.

Blaine feels the size of his smile when Kurt’s fingers curl around his.

They kiss. Twice. Kurt delays flying home. Blaine’s never been surer.

Back in Bushwick, he promises to always make it safe for Blaine to falter.

Blaine says that should go into their vows.

“Along with cookies?”

Blaine laughs and bows his head. “And I’ll always answer the phone. No matter how busy I am.”

“It’s a deal, Blaine Anderson.”

He kisses him firmly to seal it.


End file.
